In this weekly series called ‘Monday Motivation’, I challenge myself to write a short motivational blog article to kick start a great week. I will no doubt draw on lessons I have learned from one of my own personal favourite reading genres, self-help, but also from life. Rest assured, the motivational message is just as much for me as it is for my reader! As always, your feedback and ideas are warmly welcomed.
Good morning! This past weekend I’ve been thinking a lot about authenticity. What do I really like? What do I really want to do? I’ve always been an indecisive person, often polling other people before making big decisions. However, whilst seeking the opinions of others can be useful, basing all your little decisions on them can lead to a life lived inauthentically. Today I’m sharing four sentence starters I think we should be using daily in order to stop people pleasing, be yourself, and live your life with joy and curiosity.
“I like…”
I’ve had a lot of nerdy hobbies in my time: studying Chinese, musical theatre, playing the clarinet, scrapbooking…I could go on! However, what I’ve realised as an adult is that all these things are what make me an interesting person. Every little thing I do, just because I like it, is something that gives me a bit of extra flavour as a human being. I’ve never really been capable of liking something just because its a norm of my group. I like what I like. However, what I do struggle with at times, is not saying the “uncool thing” out loud. That’s why “I like” is the simplest sentence starter that reminds me to be authentically me. Whether it is admitting that I like keeping a journal, or writing a blog. Or whether it is disagreeing with someone when they say that they didn’t like a film I loved. Everything you like is cool, as long as you completely own it.
“I’ve never heard of…”
This one I really used to struggle with. You know the feeling, right? When a group of people are discussing something and you have no idea what they are talking about, so you pretend to know what they mean to avoid being the odd one out. Look, sometimes it is just easier to pretend that you understood the reference. However, do that too many times and not only are you betraying your authentic self, but you are missing out on an opportunity to learn. Showing curiosity in something you’ve never heard of is much more interesting, surely. “I’ve never heard of that band, what’s their name? I’ll need to give them a listen!” Maybe you feel like should know who they are, but by pretending you already know them, you might have missed out on finding your new favourite band.
“No, thanks.”
A tough phrase for many a people pleaser out there. I find it useful to know that “no” is actually a full sentence – no explanation needed, I just add the thanks to be polite. Someone offers you food that you don’t really want? No for me, thanks. Someone asks you if you want to go and do an activity you really don’t like? No thanks, could we try something else? Someone asks if they can bring their new boyfriend to your girls night? No. You get the gist. Of course, a wee compromise is fine and necessary now and again. However, if you constantly say “yes” when you actually mean “no”, you’re living inauthentically. You’re telling the people around you that you are someone you are not. Do you want friends and family that don’t know the real you?
“Would you like to…?”
Sometimes the scariest thing is putting yourself out there and asking someone to join you in your glorious authenticity. Here are some examples of gloriously authentic requests I have had from my friends and family recently?
Would you like to go tree-identifying with me?
Would you like to go and see the Downton Abbey film with me? I’m a huge fan.
Would you like to play chess?
Would you like to make things out of clay?
All of these requests have delighted me and made me respect the person hugely for their authenticity. I said yes to all requests by the way, which made for a truly fabulous weekend.
Happy Monday! It’s a great day to be yourself. Truly, truly yourself. I hope your day is filled with sharing things that bring you joy, admitting to what you don’t know, saying no, and sharing your weird authentic little self with others.
Linggow 